Golden Locks and a Pure Heart

November 4

Today, after school, I was making lunch and I could hear Evangeline playing around the corner. Then she came to the kitchen and said,

"Hey, Mommy, want to see my hair?"

Now, I was thinking she was going to show me a way she had fixed her hair or put barrettes in it. Nope.

She had cut off her hair and put it in a plastic purse. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me say that again,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw what she had done before seeing what was in the purse. The look of horror on my face was something that I could read in hers. Her happy face fell as I fell to the ground crying, "What did you do? Your hair!!! Why did you cut your hair?"

She said quickly, "But Mommy, I didn't hurt myself with the scissors!"

"I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself with the scissors, but you still should never cut anything but paper."

"But, YOU cut my hair."

"Yes, that's right. I cut your hair. You don't cut your hair."

I kept crying and moaning in shock. She had cut from the front, an inch or two above her ear, almost all the way to the back. It was a one-sided mullet.

"But, Mommy, look, I still have hair," She tried to console me holding the hair on the other side of her head. "I'm sorry, Mommy, it was a bad decision." She wasn't doing this to be disobedient or rebellious. She was playing and thought pieces of hair would be fun to play with. I did the same thing as a little girl. My mom made me get a perm.

She really didn't mind how it looked. All I could think about was how cute her hair used to be, how many hairstyles she can't do now, how long it will be before it grows back, no good fall pictures and probably no good Christmas pictures. I want her to look like my little girl, and not have to correct this problem by making her look like a little boy in a princess dress.

Then I hear myself, later, on a different topic, tell Evangeline about how what she wears is not what is most important. I told her that having a princess dress on doesn't change who she is and that what really matters is her heart. And yet, here I am going on and on (in my head, mostly) and on about her hair. "But her hair is another thing altogether. That's semi-permanent," I tried to justify my dismay.

So, what I am seeing now is that my heart is just as twisted up in appearances as hers. I care about what other people will say about me as a mom when they see this crazy haircut. I care that other people see her and think my little girl as cute as I think she is.

But none of it matters.

Her hair will grow back. (It's growing right this minute. I keep telling myself this...)

Her clothes will change. (At least ten times a day, in fact.)

The opinions of other people should be last on my list of concerns. What a daily struggle that is!

And only her heart matters. That is what will last forever.

1 Samuel 16:7

The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."